Dear Middlescent,
Is your typical day full of to-dos that have you spinning out of control in organized chaos? And when you don’t have a full calendar, do you feel unproductive, or worse yet, guilty?
To boot, it’s Christmas time. Everyone is hustling and bustling about getting shopping done, working longer hours to wrap up projects before taking time off, doubling up on home chores to get the house extra clean before guests arrive, and more.
Why do we choose to put ourselves into days, weeks, months, and sometimes years operating at this impossible pace? Believe me, I’m not judging because I’ve been operating from this space for a while now and it took crashing and burning out to realize busyness is a socially acceptable (encouraged) epidemic that is causing more harm than good.
Here are a few misguided reasons I would often recite in my head to not only justify but glorify my jam-packed schedule.
1. “So busy” or “crazy busy” people are important. If your schedule is so packed with meetings, business trips, and deadlines that your next available time slot is two months from now, then obviously, you must be doing very important work, and your opinion/contributions are in extreme demand.
2. Saying “yes” makes you a team player. Everyone likes team players and those people pack their schedules with more to ensure the team's success, even if it’s at their own demise. You’re the one that volunteers to lead extra projects, always says yes, stays late and misses family dinners. After all, your family will understand, you’re doing it for them.
3. You’re passionate about your job. You love what you do, so it’s really not work. You’ve got so many big ideas to flush out and get started on, that this work is fun. In fact, when you’re not at work, you’re thinking about work, so might as well do the work.
4. An accepted excuse pass. As a busy person, it’s natural that you’ll be juggling so much that it’s perfectly understandable that you won’t be able to get it all done as planned. We’ll still give you an “A” for effort. Can you get it done by next week instead?
I know these excuses are striking a chord with many of you too. We live life at warp speed, and then wonder why we’re burning out at unprecedented rates, why our relationships are falling apart, and why it feels like we’re existing versus living.
And for many, including myself, it takes something monumental to finally push you over the edge, wake you up, and remind you there’s more to life than this. For many, the journey for meaning, purpose, and impact often doesn’t begin until we’re 40 & 50+.
That is so sad. Don’t you think?
Living and not just existing, is something we should strive to accomplish at every age. It should be the rule, not the exception, or something we do later in life.
Yet, I’ve had several friends say they envy me for stepping away and taking a break. Do you mean, for finally listening to myself and doing something about it? That’s not something we should envy; it should be something we all do. Or better yet, we should adopt new daily habits and stop glorifying busyness as the standard for success.
So, what would that look like for you?
For starters, it’s changing some pre-conditioned notions. Here are a few mindset resets I’ve adopted since starting my self-prescribed sabbatical in November. As you work through some of these rescripts, know that everything is easier said than done, but intentional repetition does help build new habits, so go for it.
**Let go of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and take solace in JOMO (Joy of Missing Out).
**Not everything requires 100 percent. Sometimes, 70 percent is good enough.
**Before you say “yes,” check in with yourself to make sure it’s truly something that interests you or matters to you. If it’s not, it’s okay to say “no."
**Being a multitasking pro should not be a coveted skill. Focus your work to boost your productivity and save your brain.
**If completing a task list is the primary source for feeling good about yourself in a day, it’s time to rethink your day.
Every age is the perfect age to slow down, re-prioritize your life, and make time for the things and people that matter most. In the end, people will remember you by the imprint you've left in their lives, hearts, and minds, not by the length of your completed to-do list.
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