It's Friday the 13th, what a perfect day to write about ghosting.
You've heard of being ghosted on social media by friends, family, and potential dates, but being ghosted in business is a thing too. As a somewhat new independent small business owner, I didn't realize how often I'd run into ghosting. I pride myself on being friendly and courteous; not sales-y or overbearing with prospective clients. For me, it's all about relationship building, not just getting the sale. Still, I am regularly getting ghosted! It blows my mind how after great communication, a meeting or phone call, people still do this. I understand that sometimes it is stressful or difficult to tell someone no. However, I strive for comfortable conversations and making it easy for people to tell me the truth and say it's not really in the cards to work with me right now. I would much rather receive an email saying no, not for me, then to be left hanging. If I'm left hanging, I tend to keep "bothering" them until I get closure. I try to bother them very non-aggressively, but nonetheless, it's still a bother. If they'd tell me no, I'd wipe them off my list and move on.
In the past, I have never been in a sales role. As a business owner, that is all I do, it seems. Ok, well, not all. I do everything in my business, but to keep it that way, it involves a lot of sales. If I am kind on our phone call, in our meeting, or through my email correspondence, isn't it just good business practice to message me back and say you are thankful for our conversations, but you can't use my company's services right now? It isn't difficult to do. I do it all the time when people try to sell me something I don't need. I tell them that I am not able to financially, or that I am not ready for their services at this time. Out of respect, I pretty much always leave them hopeful that perhaps in the future I will be. I still keep the relationship in a state of nurture. You never know who might need what in the future. No hard feelings.
Yes, no hard feelings. I just said that. Of course, if you have a personality like mine, it may be difficult to get a no because of hard feelings. For me, if there is one thing I've been consciously trying to do, it is not to take it personally. Ghosting seems to be commonplace, and a very regular thing. I try so hard to understand why people do it and it blows my mind! #mindblown It completely baffles me (if you couldn't tell)! Today's world is one of hiding behind computer screens where people have no actual contact with others and say what they want, with (slight) anonymity aside from a name or handle, and people run rampant with it. With that said, why is it so hard to shoot a simple email that might be as easy as typing one little word? NO.
...I'm borrowing a phrase from MADD in the 80's - "Just say, NO!"
Are we in an era that makes us as business owners think it's easier to ghost and not get back to someone than it is to decline respectfully? It makes me think a lot about my recruiting business and how I learned as a child to treat others how I would like to be treated. There were many times in my career where recruiters ghosted me, as a candidate. It infuriated me so much. They left me hanging and hopeful when I should have moved on to the next application sooner. I am sure it prevented me from bigger and better opportunities. Thus, in my business, I swear I will never be that recruiter. I have set the bar high for myself. I do my very best to get back to every candidate that I've corresponded directly with or had a conversation. I get back to them with a "thank you, but we've selected someone else," email at the very least, and try to give some constructive feedback. It is just good business practice in my opinion. Boy, would I have killed for recruiters that didn't ghost me! #flashback
All I can hope for is that in the future, I will hone my skills. I will accept that there are things I cannot control. I'll be able not to take things personally, & I'll learn to let go and move on. I hope we, as business leaders, can find a way to bring business etiquette back. In the meantime, I will keep following the processes I have in place for lead generation - Get the call or meeting scheduled, be professional, then most of all, be friendly (that comes naturally to me anyway). I will follow up 2 or 3 times; weeks apart. In the end, if it turns out that I am "ghosted," I'll put on my big girl pants and carry on. Thank you. Next.
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